At the end of Matthew 7 Jesus closes his first sermon with this illustration:

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.  But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” (Matthew 7: 24-27 NIV 1984)

For both the wise man and the foolish man the storms of life came in this parable.  The wise man took his time and dug down into a firm foundation though and was able to withstand the mighty winds, while the foolish man who spent little to no time digging downwards lost his house with a great crash.  I think that’s how it is with growth.  Sometimes you need to grow “downward” instead of shooting up with no foundation.  The downward growth is always the toughest and messiest, and really doesn’t even look like growth sometimes from the outside, but it’s what we all need for when the winds come.  You have to dig through all of the attitudes and thoughts, both good and bad that are the foundation for your outward behavior.

Lately, I think that I’ve been doing some foundation work.  I find that I love what I’m doing so much that I work TOO much, and as tiredness comes in, I begin to see more and more of my pride and lack of gentleness.  As frustrating as it is, I’m grateful for times like this that stretch me and make me actually face and come to terms with sin in my life.  All too often I prefer to pretend like I don’t have these problems because it’s always painful to be confronted by them.  I’d rather not have my ego hurt by the fact that I am indeed a sinful human being.  Praise be to the God who enables us to see who we really are and gives us the strength of His gospel to come before Him as we are and receive love and forgiveness.

One perk of being a Future Leader is that I have access to tons of resources on every topic under the sun. This evening I borrowed one of the “Elephant Room” DVD’s in Rich’s office to glean a little bedtime wisdom. It was a fascinating debate over various topics, with well-respected pastors from around the country contending for their particular ministry style or ecclesiological slant. The weightiest thing I took away from tonight’s debates was not that one pastor’s missions philosophy was better than the other’s; it didn’t even have to do with any of the topics.

I turned off my DVD player and sat for a moment marveling at the depth of these godly men’s love of scripture. I was struck by the thought that I do not value the Bible near as much as I should. One day I’m excited to study God’s Word, the next I sleep in, which means I valued sleep more than the Bible on that particular morning. Some days I get up in the morning, open my Bible, read a passage, but I do not engage it for what it is. I do not treat it as the treasure and blessing that God intends it to be.

Everyone has heard the sermon that we need to read the Bible more. I have heard it a million times, and look what good it’s done for me. The issue I am more interested in is why I don’t thirst for the Living Word. Why don’t I read it every opportunity I get? I know in my head how valuable it is, and I know how useful it can be, but why does this not translate into deep daily devotions in God’s Word?

I think for me, and maybe for you, I fluctuate between two extremes. Some days I don’t practically believe God’s Word is living and active. Theologically and abstractly I believe it, but deep down I don’t expect it will make any difference. And if something makes no difference in my life, why should I desire or pursue it? The other extreme is that I do believe God’s Word is living and active, and I am scared at what will happen if I honestly engage it. I don’t want to move to China, I am comfortable right here in McLean, Virginia. If I read the Bible and I sense God calling me to foreign missions… I either have to do something I know I will hate, or I will have to disobey God. It’s a lose-lose situation that can be avoided by avoiding Scripture in the first place!

In the first instance, I do not believe God is who He says He is. If I did, I would never call him a liar, I would believe every word He says, and I would cherish it dearly. In the second instance, I still do not believe God is who He says He is. God says He is good, and He loves me and He doesn’t want to put me through meaningless pain. If I fully believed God is who He said He is, I would gravitate to the Bible because I would want to know what He wants for my life because I trust that He means this for His glory and my good. Moving to China would be seen as a blessing, because it’s a chance to serve the King of the Universe in a unique way, and I would have the blessing of doing what He wants me to do.

In both situations I lack faith, and both situations can be corrected by an accurate view of who God is. I wish I knew where I could go to understand His revealed will, character, and plan!!

This blog comes mid-thought, my conviction is still in the early stages of it’s genesis. I am not telling you to read the Bible more (which you should), I am calling you to examine why it is that you don’t value it more (because nobody values it as he should). Sometimes examining why you fail is more helpful than just being told you are wrong.

It is hard to believe that I have been working at Frontline Arlington for 7 Months. Time, and nearly everything else, moves quicker than normal in Washington DC. I continue to work with the Connect Team at my congregation in Arlington, and I am excited about how this ministry is progressing. I have also started regularly meeting with several volunteer leaders at my church for support and discipleship. In addition to praying for them and hearing their ministry concerns I am also walking through the book The Master Plan of Evangelism with a couple of these men.

On February 17-19th my church will be going on a Winter Retreat at Massanutten Resort, and we are currently preparing for this event as a staff. In addition to working with the Church body at Frontline Arlington, I have also been spending a good deal of time doing ministry with the students at Georgetown University in Washington DC. MBC hosts a weekly service at Georgetown, and is very involved on the campus.

On January 14th I was able to attend a retreat with the student ministry leaders at Georgetown where we planned out events for the upcoming semester. Just before Christmas, Pastor Edward asked me to consider leading a team of Georgetown students on a mission trip to Haiti. I excitedly said yes, and on March 3rd I will be flying to Haiti for a week with a group of about 10 students. I have already had two meetings with the team, and we will be meeting weekly for the next month and a half in preparation for our departure in early March. As you may recall, in early 2010 an earthquake caused a huge amount of damage to this already impoverished nation, and two years later, the effects of the quake on this tiny nation can still be strongly felt. During our time in the country we will be working with an organization called Mission of Hope. This is a large ministry which seeks to serve the country by working in disaster relief, providing food, and educating children. MOH also has a medical clinic, and recently opened a facility that creates prosthetic limbs for those in the community. I encourage you to check out the MOH website for more information about the work they do in Haiti. www.mohhaiti.org

Tonight I am heading to another meeting with my Haiti team. Please pray for us as we prepare for this adventure!

Me at the leadership retreat with Cody, a Foreign Service Major at Georgetown University. I will be traveling to Haiti with Cody.

Most of the discussion in the church about submission has focused on Paul’s command for wives to submit to their husbands in Ephesians 5:22. While it is certainly important for us to correctly comprehend and apply this passage, I fear that our overall understanding of submission has been somehow distorted by our inordinate focus on this one context. Wives are by no means the only people called to submission in Scripture, and men are certainly not exempted.

There are numerous places in Scripture where followers of God are commanded to submit. For example, in James 4:7 we are told to submit ourselves to God. The command to submit to governing authority occurs in 1 Peter 2:13 and in Romans 13:1-2. The apostle Peter also encourages submission to those who are older in 1 Peter 5:5. Paul calls all believers to submit to each other in Ephesians 5:21. The author of Hebrews also orders submission to church leaders in 13:17. Submission may not look the same in each of these situations, and a call for general submission does not cancel out a command for specific submission. The issue of submission transcends the gender debate, however, and we do an injustice to fellow believers when we only talk about submission in marriage.

These passages and others make it clear that submission is a key part of God’s plan for every believer today. Most of us don’t like that fact. Our American desire for independence runs deep within us. After all, our nation was founded through rebellion against a foreign power. Postmodernism also brought with it, a strong distrust of those in authority.  It is culturally understandable that we do not get excited about submission, but whenever our cultural instincts outweigh our spiritual obligations, something is wrong. The thread of submission has been divinely woven into the fabric of the Christian life, and those who attempt to remove it do more damage than they realize.

Submission, when correctly applied, is an essentially Christian value. Salvation itself depends on our submission to Christ as our Savior and Lord. One cannot become a Christian without first admitting guilt and submitting to God for salvation. As followers of Christ grow to love Him more deeply, they will see greater and greater portions of their life come under His authority. When we personally experience this, we will realize that some of God’s greatest blessings come through submission.

How, you may ask, is this issue of submission playing out in my life right now? There are two specific situations that come to mind. Firstly, each intern is required to submit to the guidelines of the Future Leader program. Among other things, we must read assigned books, turn in time consuming journals, avoid taking college classes, and resist dating anyone else in the program. While not all of these things may seem objectionable, I can say with certainly that each of us in the program have at times been frustrated by the structure placed on us by those in leadership.

I have personally experienced submission in the relationship I have with my manager. Since Pastor Edward is in authority over me, he has the ability to choose my work priorities. Even when I would rather be doing other things, it is my responsibility to submit to his requests. Pastor Edward is neither domineering nor unreasonable, but the truth remains that I don’t always want to do what he asks me to do. Specifically, I was not excited when he first asked me to create the bulletin and update the website each week. I was also not thrilled about leading the Connect Team when he asked me to take the reins. Even though I was internally resistant in these areas, my responsibility was to submit to his leadership, and I have continued to do so.

After being in my position for six months I still don’t get excited about some of the things I am required to do. I can say, however, that some of the biggest blessings I have experienced in DC have come through my submission to those in leadership over me. While submission to human leadership can be frustrating because those in leadership are sinful and broken, I am convinced that God uses these situations to cause growth in us that would not occur otherwise. This has certainly been the case in my life. Although I will always struggle with it, I am learning to find joy in submission.

I am the first one to admit that I do not truly understand hardship or suffering. I am also the first to admit that my life thus far has been one characterized by comfort, shelter and abundant provision. While I am deeply thankful for the ways the Lord has provided for me thus far, my eyes have drifted to those around me that suffer in ways I cannot pretend to understand. We spent some time in Future Leaders discussing suffering in the lives of missionaries Hudson Taylor and Adoniram Judson. My life has not been the same since.

The biographies of Taylor and Judson were such riveting and eye-opening accounts of two men who truly understood what it meant to live in reckless abandon for Christ. They were two men, who faced suffering, obstacles and hardship, but continued running the race because of their unshakable faith in Christ. They were two men who died to their own desires and surrendered their lives to be vessels of the Lord to live worthy of the callings they have received. Both men blazed the trail for international missions work. However, the man that truly rocked my understanding of blessed suffering and patient endurance was Judson.

Judson was the first American missionary and he spent his time in Rangoon, Burma. After a childhood of questioning Christianity and turning away from God, a host of experiences deranged his world and he could no longer ignore the truth of the Gospel, weight and power of the Almighty God and mercy of Christ. He realized his calling to be a missionary as the Lord ignited his heart to share the Gospel with a group of people in South East Asia that had never heard the name of Jesus. Judson met hardship and suffering every step of the way. His trips across the oceans were characterized by storms and sickness. He had to wait six years to see the fruit of his service and teaching in Burma. He was jailed in cruel conditions and treated brutally for months during the Anglo-Burmese War. He watched so many loved ones die to sickness and in weakness. He lost his first and second wives. He lost so many children. He watched as so many of his fellow missionaries died. There were so many seasons of darkness, depression and utter desperation in his life, and the ones previously listed do not even scratch the surface.

Yet, he pressed on to finish the race. This man was courageous. He pressed on to translate the Bible from Hebrew to Burmese. He continued to share the gospel with his Burmese community, even if though it took years to see his first convert. He also tediously worked to write an English-Burmese Dictionary for those that were to follow him. But what is most remarkable about Judson is that his courage was not founded in his accomplishments, in his goals or even in himself. Rather, his courage was founded in an understanding of who Christ really is and the unrelenting hope of the Gospel.

Thankfully, this type of courage did not die with Judson. I see courage every week. I see courage in the eyes of the families I work with, that have a child with disabilities. Yes, I see courage in the eyes of the child, but I see it even more in the eyes of the parents. I see it in the eyes of those entrusted with these precious lives, the parents that had to learn very quickly that life was no longer about them. I see it when parents joyfully squeal when they finally get the care provider they have been praying for. I see it when a dad reaches down, tells his daughter he loves her, though she cannot verbally reciprocate. I see it when a mom explains to me that the girl he has been praying for every Sunday for months is a girl they have empowered him to sponsor in Guatemala. I see it when dad physically restrains his son to prevent another violent outburst, and immediately after the melt down, showers his son with gentleness and unconditional love.

Their courage and joy is out of this world—literally. Their focus, like Judson’s, is not on their present hardships, but on a hope that can only be found in Christ and in what is to come because we are saved by grace. There is hope in a perfect Savior, who redeems us and makes us righteous before our Father. There is hope in keeping our eyes fixed on things above, to a place and time when death and mourning shall be no more. There is hope in knowing that the former things of this world, the pain, suffering, loss, tears, heart ache, separation, desperation, hunger, and sickness will all be made right when we are in perfect union with our Maker. That is hope. And while that hope does not eliminate present suffering, it unshackles its grueling and excruciating grip, and by God’s grace, we can press on to finish the race set before us, knowing that this present suffering does not compare to the glory that will be revealed in us. Until then, by the grace of God, I hope to strive to follow these examples and live in reckless abandon for Christ. And I will wait expectantly and in anticipation for the day my Lord calls me home, and on that day, the former things will pass away and there will be perfect reconciliation and union with my Father.

We cannot wait to see how the Lord leads those to apply and what He teaches them through the process. Pray for us!

When it came to talking about what the theme would be and what the speakers would be sharing on, there was much excitement in my heart. It was decided that we would be talking about biblical change and how it is not only possible for the believer but promised. Since it was decided, and from the moment we had been planning, I was just so thrilled to know that Frontliners would be encouraged by what it means to have a life transformed by God and changed to bring him more glory and at the end of the weekend we were all one step closer.

We had the privilege of hearing Mike Kelsey (Frontline Silver Springs) and Will Pavone (Frontline Tysons) talk about biblical change- that we need to believe that God can change us and will and how and why he ultimately does so. This is something I need to remember everyday just as much as a new believer in Christ or the one who has believed since youth. We need to acknowledge the power of God in our lives everyday through what he has done for us and what he is doing. The gospel has given me all hope and purpose to live my life for Jesus and he is constantly, so graciously, allowing that to transform my life to be more like him. Ephesians 4:23-25 “To be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and to put on the new man who has been created in God’s image– in righteousness and holiness that comes from truth.” As I live each day I need to realize who it is I am serving and remember that the life I have is not meant to bring myself any fulfillment or satisfaction but to live completely for the Lord and I cannot do that without his transforming power. He has revealed that truth to us and is constantly revealing himself to us, based on that truth. We understand this by looking into his word and knowing who he his and by that, through the gospel, he changes us. During one of the sessions, Will Pavone talked about how beholding the glory of the Lord is becoming more like Christ through a process. 2 Corinthians 3: 8 “We all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the lord are being changed into one degree of glory to another this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

It is such a simple yet magnificent truth and if we truly believe it, God can change us. May we look to Christ everyday and know the gospel is the glory of God that changes us and gives us purpose, and praise him that it is not in our own power that we can do anything of ourselves!

In flipping through my journal for the past three months, one word stands out the most: grace. I love reading through my almost ineligible cursive writing and discombobulated thoughts, and really witnessing the grace of God thread it all together. He has shown me his loving kindness and mercy, transforming my relationship with Him, with others, and with the community as a whole, as I find purpose in the job he has blessed me with.

By God’s grace, I know Him and have a personal relationship with Him. That statement alone gives me goose bumps. How can it be that the God of the universe knows my name and cares about my life? The same God that in His sovereign wisdom and power created the universe, that allowed Joseph to be second in command in Egypt, that orchestrated Esther’s role in saving the Jews, that bestowed such wisdom in Solomon, is the same God knows and loves me. In my brokenness, imperfection and depravity, He loves me. He wants to use me for His purposes, as part of the body of Christ, to bring glory to His holy and perfect name. He has saved me, not only from my sins, but from myself, and has brought me into His purposes to bring glory back to Him.

By God’s grace, I get to work at Access Ministry, and to be part of something so much bigger than myself. By His grace, I get to understand compassion on a completely different level. I got to join an incredible team that consistently pours themselves out to care for and empower a population that most of the world does not understand or care for. My co-workers have challenged me to question what it really means to be “broken.” People with disabilities are often deemed “broken,” but aren’t we all? Instead of looking at what they cannot do, my co-workers have challenged me to remember that EVERY person is precious in God’s sight, was knit perfectly by the Lord, and has incredible potential to be the hands and feet of Christ to others.

Still, I think the most poignant reminder has been that as much as I serve and strive to work with excellence, is that I will never be enough. This reminder, especially in this ministry, is how much I need the Lord and His grace to fill me up so I can be poured out. I do not have specialized training when it comes to caring for people with disabilities, nor am I specifically educated to create and build a day program for adults with disabilities. But when I can no longer cling to myself, my abilities, and education, Jesus is more than enough. My ministry is less about what I can do for them, but a constant effort to tell people that we all need Christ and that our hope is not in this world. My ministry strives to be a living example of hope beyond circumstances, for whatever happens to us on earth, our hope is in Jesus and in the steadfast knowledge that He loves us and will complete the good work that He started in us.

By God’s grace, I get to be part of a community with a wide range of abilities. I spend most of my time in Access with the adults. Friendship Club is a ministry for adults (age 16 and up) with intellectual disabilities. But this summer at camp, VBS, and every Sunday, that’s not what I saw. I see an adult that can name every single battle in World War II and cares about the marsupials in Australia. I see an adult that is so fascinated with trains and gets such deep and impenetrable joy out of watching them. I see an adult that can’t speak with her words, but speaks with her eyebrows (such talent!). I see an adult that knows the bus and metro system better than most of the people I know. I see an adult that understands God’s love and plan for her better than I ever could, because she sees her disability as a gift from God, to bring Him more glory. I see strength and joy that could only come from Christ. I see the glory of Christ, as He is magnified in all of our weaknesses.

By God’s grace, my life is not about me.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

1 Corinthians 12:9-10

From the moment I moved from Indiana to Northern Virginia in the third week of June to start my Future Leader experience, God sprang me into action from the get-go and showed me his steadfast faithfulness and unrelenting love. Moving across the country and starting a new job in completely new place was not an easy thing to do, but God has been with me every step of the way and I am loving it! In just over a month’s time I traveled with the Rock (middle and high school student ministries) to Myrtle Beach for ‘Beach Week’, the Dominican Republic, and NorthBay Adventure Camp for junior high summer camp, along with numerous other Rock activities!

I am blessed this year to be working with the Rock Student Ministries at the MBC Prince William campus. The Rock in summer time is a ministry on the move! The theme I saw over and over again this summer was how powerful the Gospel is in truly transforming lives. I witnessed students transform into people who were fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ (hey Core Value #3!), understanding the separation from the Perfect God because of sin and the necessity of proclaiming Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, dedicating their lives to building a beautiful, eternal relationship with Him because what He did for us on the cross.

Beach Week and Summer Camp were fun experiences for the students, but more importantly, so incredibly life changing. The purpose of our time at Beach Week and camp was clearly articulating the meaning of The Exchange: The exchange of this life for an eternal one. We ask ourselves the hard questions: What is our joy rooted in? Do we focus on temporary things, or eternal ones (Col. 3:2)? Explaining what it means to truly desire a relationship with Jesus, where we ‘sell’ everything that we have to let God rule over us, a brokenness and submission to Christ (Matt. 13:44). The joy that comes because of this submission to Jesus, who is our eternal hope (John 16:22). Learning what it means to have joy in suffering, and why it is such a blessing to have trials in our lives (James 1:1-4). The students need to understand that a life for Christ is not always easy and that they will be rejected by this world as he was (John 1:10-11), but clearly articulating and helping them understand there is absolutely nothing that compares to the value of knowing Christ (Phil 3:8). This joy gives a peace that surpasses all human understanding and gives purpose to everything in our lives, whether the conditions are good or bad (Phil 4:7).

The trip to the Dominican Republic was definitely a highlight of the summer. It was so awesome getting to serve alongside the kids, enabling them to do their own ministry. It is so easy often times as leaders to just do the work yourself instead of equipping others to learn and grow by giving them opportunities to do it themselves. It was also very humbling to see the harsh and dire conditions people were living in, and how much Christ and prayer was needed. The following was something that I wrote for our ministries blog about one of our afternoons in an extremely impoverished nursing home:

In the afternoon, our team went to a nursing home nearby to comfort those who are many times abandoned and forgotten. What a powerful and overwhelming experience to see fellow human beings live in such harsh and primitive conditions. Most of these people were Haitian, and have no family members that come visit them or care for them in any way. They are outcasts in society that are rarely loved or remembered by the outside world. Having the chance just to be with them, love and pray for them, was a profoundly humbling experience. The residents and students, Haitian, Dominican, and American all together sang a powerful and moving rendition of ‘Amazing Grace’ before we left. James 1:27 calls for us to “visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” That message hit home for us today. We are so thankful that Jesus never forgets anyone, and loves everyone so much.

To wrap it all up, the start of the Future Leaders Program has been truly amazing. I have already experienced so many amazing things, and built such an amazing, intentional community with my fellow FLP’ers and church community, and we are just getting started! I cannot wait to see what the Lord is going to continue to do in all of our ministries. There will be times that we will get tired, discouraged, or even times that we may fail, but Colossians 1:29 reminds us, “To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me.”

Here is to a year of growth and pursuit of holiness in Christ!